I get troubled by states of affairs.
Anxiety is for personal things and is as intermittent and unreasonable as passing waves. Finances, direction, relationships lack. It is a flip that turns the world black in a shudder but with attention can pass.
Troubles are more coupled to despair. The language bankers use. The inextricability of the state. Newspapers, conversations, a depression at others lives.
They seem to be getting on OK. Holidays, employment, drinking sessions. Is there something I have missed?
Their reluctance to probe, to solve, to explain over and feel.
To read the same books as 1000 million others.
To find no pleasure in the extreme but replicate with a deluge of novelty, fascination and “Oh! How lovely!” as diminished dreams idle amongst impoverished offerings.
Under the surface I am not convinced we are free. Rather: deluded and reminding ourselves we are at home.